WOE is me!

This year I decided to really be more conscious of my health by watching what I eat and exercising more. In particular I really wanted to throw myself into my yoga practice completely; mind, body and spirit. In doing that even if I don't go to yoga on a particular day I try to read something each day about Bikram. A few weeks ago,I came across a quote that didn't completely make sense to me. "Thinking is suffering." Well who knew skipping yoga last night would allow me to fully understand. I wanted to get my apartment clean and pick up a few items so I did that in place of going to yoga like I should have. While at the store I decided I need to get a scale to begin tracking my weight loss. After locating the scales in the store I did a little "try before I buy" and I was devastated at the reading. Now granted I haven't stepped on one in a long time. Even when I go to the doctor I don't look or ask them not to tell me. Following the scene at the store, I couldn't even purchase that dag gone scale. I immediately bolted out of the store. The whole way home I just kept having all these negative thoughts about being morbidly obese and even considering the gastric bypass! It got to the point that the thoughts began to overwhelm me and I kept adjusting the radio in attempt to drown them out! While Jay-Z's "On the Next" was blasting in my car, it came to me that thinking is suffering! And hatha yoga gives you that mental break to focus on yourself in a positive way. For those hellatious 90 minutes all you can do is focus on what is going on in that moment or risk falling out of your pose. By the last cevasana you are totally and completely relaxed. However, even with all the progress I have made over that last month or so I pretty much allowed my thoughts to wipe that all away. Well to sum it up, I will not skip anymore yoga classes (for multiple reasons)! LOL!